Honeymoon
Abuser: may appear to be loving and kind; brings gifts, acts of affection.
Victim: feels happy and hopeful; feels sympathetic toward her partner.

Tension Building
Abuser: fears abandonment and uses abuse to control partner; blames partner for problems; often jealous.
Victim: thinks she deserves it; minimizes her pain; feels like she is walking on “eggshells”; takes responsibility for fixing relationship.

Blow-Up
Abuser: extreme rage; desires to “teach her a lesson”; out of control; irrational.
Victim: feels terrified; may allow herself to express her own anger by fighting back; afterwards, feels depressed and helpless.

Relief
Abuser: feels guilty and sad; may cry and beg for forgiveness; promises to change; may appear to be loving and kind.
Victim: feels happy and hopeful; feels sympathetic toward her partner.